A solid case for getting Trump high

Can you imagine the whispered voices in darkened corners of the UN?

'What can we do about The Donald?'

Perhaps they will form an emergency committee to assess the situation, analyze the risks, and come up with a swift solution. However, by the time they've accomplished this - say in 2023 - it might just be too late.

All it might take is one too many bilious early-morning awakenings, and a post on a favorite website suggesting that North Korea is going to hire caddies, dressed in plus fours and wearing Barack Obama masks, to poison his golf courses. Soon he'd be building walls around every green space and demanding that Ho Chi Minh - which is the closest he can get to remembering Kim Jong-un's name - should pay for it in 'roubles or whatever their damned currency is called'.

We shudder as to where this might lead...

But, chill out guys, it's all cool - and any other phrases from bygone years that might give you comfort.

We have the answer: in most cases of out-of-control world leaders (think dancing Yeltsins) the aim is to wean them off whatever they have been indulging in. With The Donald, the real problem is that he's never 'on' anything. He behaves like this in his natural state (if that is an acceptable description). So, we know it's time for the world's latest superhero - Medical Cannabis - to ride to the rescue!

Think of the benefits of a 'high' Donald (and we don't mean atop a ladder shouting at Mexicans over a half-constructed wall). Perhaps we could then call him 'The Mellow Yellow'. We know that controlled use would see him with a much calmer temperament, somewhat less likely to casually declare war on Canada to see how they might 'deal' with that. Most importantly of all, he would start to see his hands as beneficially compact rather than an indication of a tiny...tolerance threshold.

Here at MyCannX, we are prepared to adopt the missionary position in this situation, with a dedication towards helping those in need (technical description: The American People and Everyone Else On The Planet).

We will take every necessary step to allow The Donald to gain his DC Cannabis Card for free.

This will truly help with pain management - ours not his.

But we also know it will assist with his obvious anxiety and insomnia - and probably more permanently than lightly applying a mallet to his forehead each night.

So, here's the deal:

If you want The Donald to mellow out, and could maybe use some medicine yourself in the meantime, you can check out the details here.

People of America and the world - you're welcome!